Tomorrow is Tiana's appointment with the urologist for the surgical consult. We'll find out then how soon they plan to get the surgery done and what the surgery entails exactly. My husband, Jim, isn't very happy that the appointment had to be scheduled while he's out of town on a business trip. Important things like this we usually go together for, but this was too urgent to schedule after he's back in town.
Well, Tiana is at her first school dance, the "Third Grade Hoedown", a cowboy/cowgirl themed dance. She was very excited to be able to go. It was kind of funny to be dropping her off at a school dance. I'm not used to how much she's grown up on me. Really, all of the kids are getting so much older faster than I'm ready for. A month from tomorrow, Scarlett will be fourteen!!! My baby is in kindergarten already. It's hard to believe all this.
So, I'm ready Jodi Picoult's The Pact and am really getting into it. At the beginning, I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. The first few pages just didn't grab me as much as I would have liked. However, my wonderful sister recommended it to me so I thought I'd give it more of a chance. Now I'm totally hooked and can't wait to finish it. I'm about halfway through it and will certainly write a review of the book on here when I finish it. It's not a YA book like I've been reading lately so it's much heavier of a read, but I have to say it's really good and worth reading if you get a chance.
Right now I'm listening to my WMP writing playlist and the music of the moment is "Fireflies" by Owl City. I'm sure you can find this song on playlist.com if you'd like to hear it. It's a cool song and pretty relaxing to listen to. I could imagine Elyssia putting this song on when she can't sleep one night. Scarlett's boyfriend brought the Owl City CD "Ocean Eyes" over when he came to spend the day with her on Saturday and I ripped it to my laptop so I could listen to it and add it to my playlists. I'd never heard of Owl City before Jacob recommended "Vanilla Twilight" as their song, but I can tell you they have a sound that is quite mesmerizing and well worth taking the time to look up on playlist.com when you get a chance.
I also recommend Owl City's "If My Heart Was a House". It just came on and it's a song I think will suit Evander and Elyssia in The Council. The words to the chorus are: "Circle me and the needle moves gracefully back and forth. If my heart was a compass you'd be north. Risk it all cause I'll catch you if you fall. Wherever you go, if my heart was a house you'd be home." It's a very sweet love song and I just adore the sound of it. I'm always on the look out for good songs that work for my books to add to their playlists while I'm writing and this song will certainly be on the official playlist for The Council when I'm done. Like Awakening of a Guardian which was heavy on Avril Lavigne songs, The Council is adding up so far to have a number of Owl City selections.
Speaking of Awakening of a Guardian, I was at the library this afternoon and saw my book sitting there on display. I even took a picture of it on my cell phone. It was so exciting to see it there. Even my kids were excited to see Mommy's book at the library. Of course, I had to send a pix txt to my sister to show her!
Okay, on to the excerpt of the day! This is a longer excerpt and is set after Elyssia had her vision with Amie being held at the point of a dagger. She's finally gotten Amie to settle back to sleep, but she can't sleep and has fount that neither can Evander. They agree to meet downstairs to talk and that's where this picks up, with them down at the bottom of the stairs. (I will warn you that this part is PG-13.)
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I took Evander’s hand and led him down to the rec room. There were big comfortable couches down there that I imagined we could snuggle up on.
What are we doing all the way down here? I thought you just wanted to talk quietly.
I just want some time alone with you, Evander. Is there anything wrong with that?
No, I just don’t want you to feel pressured into doing anything just because we’re alone in the basement in the middle of the night.
Evander, I didn’t say I wanted to do anything like that. I just wanted privacy with you. If that’s what’s in your head, then never mind.
Elyssia, don’t blame me for thinking that way. I could read it inside you. The struggle you’re having with whether or not we should be having sex yet or wait. I vote we wait a while, at least until you’re out of high school.
Have you been talking to my mother?
No. What makes you ask that?
Oh, nothing. Forget I said anything. I don’t want to have sex yet. I just wanted to spend some time alone with you. We haven’t had much of that since we, I mean, I found out we were linked. Anyway, there’s a lot of stuff between doing nothing and having sex. We can find a happy medium.
He had no response to that argument and I could read in his mind that deep down, he didn’t want to argue at all about it. He wanted me. He was just being responsible, as always.
I put my hands gently on his bare chest, and he let me push him down onto the couch. He reached out, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me down on top of him. Kissing me longingly and holding me tightly against him, he freed one hand and ran it up from my knee to my back against my bare skin. He released his hold on me and slid his other hand around to untie my robe. I let if fall off my shoulders and down to the floor.
I allowed his hands to roam freely across my body beneath my nightgown. It felt so good to have him touch me. It awakened a stream of feelings I had never yet experienced. There was nothing I could imagine being better than the gentle caress of his hands against my skin. I pushed my body against his, writhing with the pleasure of his touch, letting myself go fully in the moment, leaning back to let him kiss my neck as he ran his strong hands up my back onto my shoulders and pulled me into himself. I could feel how aroused he was.
Sensing his emotions entangled with my own was nearly overwhelming. He loved me, and I loved him. There was no reasoning telling me not to make love to him right then. I had to stop myself. We were unprepared, and it wasn’t the right time. Things were too crazy, and I was simply allowing myself to indulge selfishly to avoid the true stress of the situation. I wouldn’t, no, couldn’t, let things go too far.
I kissed him once more passionately on the mouth and relaxed my posture, softening the touch of my lips to his. He relaxed in kind and I could sense his concern. “Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?” he asked in a hushed tone.
“No. It’s me. I feel selfish. I’m indulging myself while we should be working on figuring out what to do to protect Amie. It’s just that I don’t want to have to deal with all of this. I want to be free to be a normal teenager and act carefree and occasionally disregard the responsible thing to do. I don’t know that I want the pressure and responsibility of being a Guardian for our people and our culture.” I moved to sit next to him and picked my robe up off the floor, placing it in my lap. “I’m sorry. I got carried away in the moment and in trying to forget all the things I don’t want to remember right now.”
“It’s alright. There’s nothing that says you have to like all of this. I hope that you enjoy being linked to me, but the rest of it I can understand if you feel under too much pressure. I’m not sure I would want to be a Guardian either, and you know I’ve always been good with being responsible and doing the responsible thing.”
“The being linked to you is the easy part, Evander. I love you. I never realized it before, but I do love you. I’ve always loved you on some level, but now I’m more aware of just how deep it runs in me.” I reached out in the dark to take his hand and hold it tightly.
He reached his other arm around me and kissed me again. “I love you too. And because I love you, I know that you will be able to deal with the pressure and responsibility placed on you as a Guardian. Part of my job as your partner is to help you through the rough patches and help you stand up when you feel like falling down. You are so much stronger than you always give yourself credit. You are an amazing young woman already and will only grow to be more amazing with age and experience. Don’t give up on yourself quite yet. I’m not ready to give up on you. There is nothing I can imagine you doing that would ever make me give up on you or make me stop loving you, Elyssia.”
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